The people business

It is strange how I am facing the prospect of working closely with and for people for the next major part of my life.

Think about it: I have kinda been a closet misanthropist. Growing up in a family as I did, having nasty babysitters who added not one ounce to my confidence-building as a kid, and my relatively anti-social pastime of reading have not made me really fond of being with people. I found them selfish, tiresome, hard to please and generally..irritatingly confused. People are hard to predict: show some concern, and you are a nosy parker. Demonstrate 'respect for privacy' (aka indifference) and I am unemotional and cold. My former 'best friend' dropped me when she married a guy who used to like me, despite me trying to talk..(well, around it, not about it..I am still Asian..). I am often like..what are these strange creatures thinking about?

Then the best joke came when I became a teacher. I mean goodness, not only do I dislike people, I dislike kids. Kids are the embodiment of man's vanity. I have often mumbled to Art that kids do what they do and get away with it just cos they are kids. It's colossal injustice. Well, those whom I taught weren't exactly kids; they were college kids but of course, their dispositions, inclinations and tempers are nevertheless still brewing, only thank goodness they are of the polite brand, no matter if they mean it or not. That accounted for my scathing remarks and sarcasm towards them, which ironically somehow endeared me to them.

And then as everyone knows, I wanted to leave teaching cos I was getting bored and frustrated with being bypassed for promotion in place of the men who 'have served in the army'. Whatever. Doesn't account for the multiple and sometimes unjustified automatic promotions given to them. Ok, I initially aimed for humanitarian work and was quite proud of myself for having found my 'personal vision'.  I know I have a lot of explaining to do: what is a people- hater doing humanitarian work for? Well, I like the moral and practical significance of helping faceless people..if you get what I mean: humanity as a whole.  Dealing with personal relationships is hard. Well, but I could not get into a masters programme doing development work. And then I could not get into a development internship, no matter how many stinking resumes and cover letters professing my 'ardent sincerity' I sent.

Instead, steps that have 'happened to me' unwittingly seem to point towards..people. As in up close and personal (but not the social work kind, thank God).  My masters in Intercultural Communication (which is the only masters my bachelor and limited professional experience got me into) is actually well-suited for human resouce and communications work. Then the internship I got was for human resource, which is my last choice after the cool and fancy events management and field research positions that I had been more keen in. I guess my thesis will be on human resource work too, despite the very limited human resource modules (1 actually) I have taken. Friends around me have affirmed that I appear to be good and intuitive with people (them never guessing my inner discomfort..maybe cos I take these interactions too seriously) and with management positions.

But more importantly, I see this as where God is leading me, even though it had never been where I set out to be when I quit teaching and even midway through my studies when I was applying for internships. I have never gotten what I yearned for or expected. Well, I have been praying to God to lead me through or even in spite of my personal decisions and conviction. I prayed that cos I was just praying for something to happen, and cos I was so worried for my future and career. It renders my increasingly favourite verse relevant:

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps-Proverbs 16:9

Of course how things have turned out is funny. It is funny how a self-centred person like me seems to end up being designated for a behind- the- scenes job. Take a look at it: as a teacher, esp a pre-university college one, my job, besides or through teaching, is to train and develop the students-as leaders, thinkers, or even in their academic or personal development. Fast forward a little: isn't the job of a human resource practitioner or specialist to train and develop people as well? To get people/students to work effectively in teams? In that sense, these two types of jobs share a moral and ethical imperative to help people be the best that they can be. Of course I am well aware that for school the ultimate goal are grades and ranking and for HRM, it functions as a company strategy, but the underlying implication is that you want people to turn out good, and to be better than when they first come to you.

Which kinda sucks for me, as I was saying. I mean..hey..I want to be developed here, not to be the one developing. I want to be the one possessing the techinical competencies and to be the one at the forefront of the job; I want people to think about how they can retain me and work with me and develop me. I can't believe how I used to envy the top-scorers during Founder's Day in school who have clinched prestigious scholarships. Instead, God has kept for me, an underdog, a typical underdog work: to manage and please and build people up.

Not that I am totally unhappy. I am just ruminating how funny and unexpected things have turned out.  I can see how this possibly new career path can hold lots of cognitive and professional challenges and prospects for me. I have been googling about prospects and these are a few of what I have found:


"Exceptional human resources workers may be promoted to director of human resources or industrial relations, which can eventually lead to a top managerial or executive position. Others may join a consulting or outsourcing firm or open their own business. A Ph.D. is an asset for teaching, writing, or consulting work".


.......

"Increasingly, for a successful career in Human Resources, you will also need business management, finance, and accounting education. You must be prepared to develop a deep understanding of the business your employer is engaged in to succeed in a career in Human Resources".
 
Well, if God has lead me here, it is the safest and best place to be, despite my quasi-apprehensions.