Remember the Time

So this is it. My personal tribute to MJ. So many writers and journalists better than me have expressed on the news his legacy, and my humble writing will be nothing more than intensely personal. What do you write about when so many people have said it better than yourself? Yet to settle for non-expression, relying on others, is unbearable. I guess that's the dilemma of writers, both professional and otherwise.

MJ's passing did not hit me that bad till I attended the memorial at Hong Lim Park today and saw, for myself, the image erected that is to pay tribute to him. The feeling is the same as Ah Tai's passing--that someone who has always been there--in your childhood, your memory, in the corner of your heart is suddenly fleshed out in the open as a reminder of death. I really felt terrible.

And people would think that I'm the last to feel this way of a pop star. After all, I don't really listen to much hippy music right? But well, in the days of the old radio, I listened to him. MJ came to Singapore when I was 10, and I remember the craze about him, and being curious, sought him and his music, and from then on, I was hooked. Listening to his music, and seeing his dance (in my opinion, he is still the only dancer, who can hold his own, dancing, on stage and drive a crowd wild. No need for backups), I just could not reject his talent (and I think he is good looking leh). I saved me little pocket money to buy his cassettes, one by one, starting from his Motown hits, went to MPH to buy The Jackson 5 and MJ's own magazines, his biographies, and even had 2 scrap books of him.

Of course I did not keep up with this obsessed behavoir as I grew older, but his status in my heart has been sealed, warranting no outward demonstration of my adoration. No doubt the public's interest of him waned in his looonnng hiatus following his stupid child molestation case (in which I still think he should not have paid out that freaking boy), but I could proudly say that I have never mocked his looks, and neither have I believed in his supposed paedophilic hehavoir. I just believe he has some issues from his childhood (cliche yes), and more importantly, he was really careless.

Most people remember him (if positively), for his dance and music, of course. Otherwise it would be his amazing MTVs and crotch-grabbing stance. ( I don't know why I approve of this when it comes from him in comparison to other artistes..hehe). When Art and I were seated on the grass watching videos of his performances, we were especially captivated by his solo dance performances, and I guess we really gotta bow in the face of genius. His 1993 or 95? MTV awards performance was really really, nothing like Ive ever seen--a dancer and performer is what he is. I don't think I'll be that upset when EJ passes on, for I only knew him when I was 18. MJ has been one of the defnining images in my childhood to my teenage years, and MJ..is like a milestone that has come and gone in my life, from dog eared posters on my walls to pristine new cds from my first salary, and suddenly now the tragic subject of a tribute event Ive just attended in my late 20s with Art.

But back to our remembrance of him. When I was seated there, watching, and dancing to his videos, one after another, it struck me how, embedded in MJ's music, were one of the seeds of celebrity activism. Yes no doubt he may not have expressed as much in real life as compared to people like Jolie, etc, but hey, in the days before it was fashionable or even conceivable for celebrities to vehemently promote causes, in the days long before 'environmentalism' was a fad, he had already embraced such concepts in his music. Think 'Heal the World', 'We are the World', and his latest in this line, and most visually striking, 'Earth Song'. 'Black or White' and 'Bad' speak boldly against racism in America, and providing an inspiring alternative to black gangterism in the black ghettos in his MTVs. 'Man in the Mirror', 'They don't really care about us', and 'Stranger in Moscow' were heartfelt expressions on social injustice and urban/modern alienation. To me, he seems to be a visionary in the best way he knows how to. Though these may not be his core strengths or public facade, this observation deepened my appreciation of him and his music. I don't know if my passion in social and environmental activism (though not fully manifested..yet..hehe) has been subconsciously influenced by my childhood idol.

Yes, Michael, I will 'Remember the Time' of how you, without knowledge of, and care of me, touched me greatly, as you had to many many of your faceless fans.

Rest in Peace.


Early at 5pm during the set up of the memorial gathering. To the left is an ink drawing of the siloutte of MJ

A simple banner expressing the heartfelt intentions of fans.


Fans writing words of tribute on the banner.


These are my words, saying 'Once and idol, always an idol. Rest in peace, MJ. Love, Candy'

This is my favourite, saying, 'Flying with Peter Pan in Neverland..'

A sad and poignant scene: MJ's trademark Fedora hat, usually perched precauriously on his crown as he performs, or to be seen flung into the crowd, finally rests serenely on the grass patch.

Candle virgil for MJ to his song and music video, 'Heal the World', followed by one minute of silence.

Dunno if you can see this, but it's dear Art!