On Community and Ideas

Ahh, community! It is during nights like these that I miss my church and school communities back 'home' in Vaasa. It is also amazing that it is because of the church community that Ling forfeited a job in Helsinki to stay on in small Vaasa. Just sent an email to Pastor Tero who replied that they have new people from the college to replace the ones they have 'lost', and that they have a special service on Friday to commemorate the relocation of the church to the methodist building. It could very probably be the lack of a stable community here in Virginia that Art says, with much irritation, that I seem to be 'unhappy'. Humphz. I can't believe that after DC I will be going to Lund for an exchange programme for yet another 2-3 months. Though Chen said that it is good to relocate every few months for a change of environment, I realised that much as a traveller I am-and very probably because I have been an avid lone traveller for so long-I am strangely not as lonesome as I thought I am, that I like community, albeit of limited or particular sorts. Also, I think it is partly due to the immediate church community that I found in Finland that I could settle in so well there.  I should start praying that I find some form of good community in Lund.

So I was reading Helen Keller's autobiography, seeing her story as one that is universally known but which I have never read personally before, I savoured chapters in which I found a kindred spirit in her. Not that I have her fortitude-being deaf and blind and yet being able to go to college and do public speaking, but in the sense that she loves solitude and books. I guess people who have 'disabilities' like hers have little choice but to cultivate the rich inner lives where they could be greatly encouraged and enriched by books and good thoughts. It also reminds me of the protagonist in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, whom was severely bedridden, and though his body may be as heavy and immovable as a diving bell, his mind soared and flittered like a butterfly, keeping his spirit alive.

I like several quotes in The Story of my Life (HK's autobiography) which I shall translate here:

" The one I felt and still feel most is lack of time. I used to have time to think, to reflect, my mind and I. We would sit together an evening and listen to the inner melodies of the spirit, which one hears only in leisure moments when the words of some loved poet touch a deep, sweet chord in the soul that until then had been silent. But here in college there is no time to commune with one's thoughts. One goes to college to learn, it seems, not to think...Many scholars forget, it seems to me, that our enjoyment of the great works of literature depends more on the depth of our sympathy than our understanding..."

Which brings me to the notion of ideas. I feel like I have been or will be called upon, either my others  myself, to give an account of my choice of studies in the liberal arts, Literature. It certainly wasn't a choice that had earned the respect of people, and it seems that in my life, I have usually made choices that made others scoff, like teaching. That said, I had studied Literature because I love it. I wasn't matured or clear-headed enough to study a course that was technically sound, and true to my unadulterated nature, I had made a decision according to my instinct and intuition, and that is to gravitate towards my first love that was books. Well, hmm, now given a choice, I would have chosen to double major in Sociology as well, if I had to choose within the faculty of arts.

If asked, Why Literature, I guess it is the notion of ideas and words. The world and society came into being and is sustained by ideas.

Idea: any conception existing in the mind as a result of mental understanding, awareness, or activity.


At the essence and heart of each and every story or piece of literature is a single crystallized idea, a manifested comprehension and insight into a situation or an experience. What is the idea behind Helen Keller's autobiography? A testimony of the fortitude of the human spirit, the innate desire for knowledge and self-awareness despite severe disabilities. What is the idea behind Ian McEwan's A Child in Time? The experience of a marital couple's heart break following the loss of their child, and the universal hope of the redemptive element and possibilites that a child brings to two people. What is the idea behind the Bible? God's grand plan of salvation for mankind captured through the panorama of history all the way to the unknown future. What is the idea of my masters thesis? That empowering collaboration can take place across cultures through organizations.

Each idea translated through a piece of literature embodies a facet of the human experience and experiment, all in the attempt to make sense and bring meaning to our existence. We have souls and are not just empty shells, and I feel that literature attests to the inner emotions of our experiences, cleverly translated and painted by descriptive words and phrases (which to me frankly, is like literary foreplay. hehe) In fact, any piece of literature is an idea, not only those of the literary kind. Business books, management readings-they each carry within them seeds of ideas, and by reading books we engage with the ideas of others, whether it be of the human condition and abstract experience as in fictional literary prose or poetry, or whether it is how to exercise an ethical and altrustic type of management in the otherwise alienating industries and bureaucracies in Douglas McGregor's The Human Side of Enterprise. When I chose to transit from liberal art studies to a rather technical human resource management studies, it wasn't so much as a departure from my previous background as an endeavor to explore another type of idea that yet explains and organizies societies and the human condition. Even scientific theories and hypotheses are born of ideas first that are sparked by observations and an inquisitive mind, and which reflect the human propensity to make sense of a problem or a lack, by proposing a solution.

In short, for too long Literature has been discarded disparagingly. But you see, it is one aspect out of many others that attempt to present ideas in order to make sense of the world , though in the form of literary writing, an emotional settlement and closure is pursued more than a solution; it doesn't offer sanitized and convenient solutions; it invites participation and exploration. It is definitely truism to say that in our monetized society, one form of knowledge and idea is appreciated more than the other, and that is the kind of ideas that bring concrete ends, which isn't a bad thing in itself; it leads to but one form of progress and understanding. Our mainstream society, while it doesn't encourage solitude, does prosper from the solitary labors of others in the form of the birthing of ideas and eventually the fulfillment of them.

On Mentoring

It was interesting that I sat in for a professional sharing session on mentoring among the entry level adminstrative staff during work today.

It had never struck my mind before- the magnitude of God's blessings for a mentor like Mike in my life. The other people were sharing about the dilemmas involved in asking for a mentor and on deciding what a mentorship should be like. They were pretty serious about it too, discussing what makes an 'ideal' mentoring relationship and who that person should be. I spoke up and shared about Mike and I realised that hey-Mike had 'just' come along and has been a mentoring figure to me, when many people in actuality are actually grappling around for one.

To be sure-as I was sharing with the rest-Mike's 'mentoring' lasted a long time and was sustainable precisely because it wasn't formal and very intentional, and he was somebody in my life anyway, as a cell group leader. He had helped me through struggling times and had counselled me on how to approach problems practically.   But to put yourself out there like what he does, especially to coach Art as a young Christian, which I am incredibly grateful to him for, and to Alice, to whom he had imparted wisdom in spiritual matters and life management, is inspiring and made me realise that in a way, a significant life is one which gives of itself to others, whether in terms of time, money or energy, in order that they may grow.

In fact, a long time ago, Mike asked me how I was serving in church, and taken aback, I had offered the usual answers comprising of church and cell attendance, planning of events etc. And he said, 'no no..what are YOU doing to mentor and disciple others?' At that time, the magnitude of that question just went over my head and it was easy for me to brush that challenge off, saying that I wasn't good with people and that it wasn't necessary for one to 'disciple' others anyway, heavy as it sounds, if it doesn't lie in your 'giftings'.  After all, I wasn't growing very much in my life then. It took me a long while years later to understand that that was the model of transformation in a bible-believing life and community. It is how us as Christians mimick, to the best of our abilities, and through a glass darkly, the fellowship intended for eternal life. I realise now that regardless of one's station or stage in life, there is always somebody around, whether in church or at work or in school, whom you can give of yourself to, and that in turn, helps us to grow as well. It was also due to him that I decided to 'disciple' Chen, in my limited ability, in Vaasa, and which have proved to be really fulfilling.

While reflecting in Finland, I realised that I had wanted a professional mentor, one whom can guide me through career paths and career choices in life. After all, I admit there is much that I know nothing of, and I am a klutz at engineering a rise through the ranks or even to attain personal and professional growth. I look back now and realise that part of the reason why I left my previous job was the lack of a mentor. I am not that smart and environmentally-aware that I know how to maneuver my way around and build on my strengths. It made me anxious. So I prayed for a mentor. Not persistently but passingly.

And when I came to IJM, I realise that part of the internship programme allows me a structured mentoring session with the vice-president of human resources, which is my very own department! I can never comprehend why a person of his position and stature would spend time mentoring an intern like me. To mentor a growing professional, like managers or executives etc would be understandable, but ehh? an intern? True enough, there are several other vps in IJM who put themselves out there to mentor other interns in their own department, and secretly I wonder what is in it for them. I mean..seriously. But whatever the case, God has answered my prayer, and I am thankful for the opportunity and accessibility. I truly believe that one's mind and growth is sharpened by conversations had with one's betters, and I am trying to be as fruitful as I can with the sessions while not appearing to be too forthcoming and aggressive and ambitious (hmmm).

So there you have it: one's life that has been enriched my conversations, by people who have given of themselves in a deliberate intention to help others grow. While Mike does it spiritually and Tony does it professionally, the line has never been clearly drawn because both are professional Christians who have taught me in both areas. Mike works as an engineer but engages with the young people ministry on weekday nights and on weekends and in other moments in between. Tony works in a Christian environment imparting his corporate human resource and management skills in a fearlessly bible-believing organization. Both have showed me how to be personally involved in the work of God, and in the fulfillment of God's calling and one's gifts whether in work or out of it but always in life. I look at people like them, and also people like Pirjo back in Vaasa, and realise that hey, I want to be like them, believing that the time will come when it is my turn to pass on to others who would be blessed by my material, spiritual and professional support.

 It is interesting how it took a structured and professional (maybe even clinical) mentoring programme in a foreign faraway land to realise the friendship mentoring in Mike that God has always been providing for me through my growing up years at home. In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if my current inclination to be professionally involved in the training and development of people in organizations have actually been implanted sub-consciously through my experiences with people who have spoken life into me and have taught me the way that I should go.

Take My Life, Please

I was watching this Simpson episode with the above mentioned title while eating dinner ravenously tonight after work, and this episode was kinda poignant and which struck a chord in me.

Homer Simpson bumped into a successful peer who had been elected class president over him (Homer) more than 20 years ago, and Homer was all caught up fretting that that would have been a seminal event which could have changed the course of his life altogether.

Which is quite plausible actually. In an alternative reality (think Sliding Doorshttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120148/ -I have always thought it an intriguing show) Homer was the same; never born a genius and was a dope from the start. But this time he was elected as a standing joke among his peers, which, though far from ideal of course, did much to boost his self-esteem, stature, and eventually brought on success. Of course, befitting of an animation doing social commentary, many things were exaggerated, like when Burns drove past in his limo and offered him a job (but ok, down the line if things go well, who knows?)

So, inadvertently, it made me think of my life and missed opportunities and things which I used to bemoan, like what if...my parents had never obsessively belittled me and my academic performance in front of the neighbours when I was a kid? what if...I were born rich and had a different upbringing? what if...I were less of an introvert, more self-confident, and had stepped up in life more? what if...I had never screwed up my math paper, ended up in a 'neighborhood' school, and...never met Art in Bukit Batok sec? hehe.

Guess I would have been a gloomy self-centred recluse if left to my own devices eh? The thing about life is that, sometimes there is no turning back, and no way of controlling how things turn out. Thank God we can rely on Him, having peace knowing that He is in control of our destiny. Romans said that 'And we know that all good things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose' (8:28).

I have also, for some reason (ok, for a very good reason) been reminded more than a few times by the Holy Spirit lately on the idea of significance, and the essence of true significance. It is something that is easy to have head knowledge about, but hard to grasp or truly comprehend and imbue or believe, unless God opens our eyes at the right time. "Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; whom He justified, these He also glorified' (8:30). I have been touched by this revelation that no matter what I have strived for or am striving to achieve to prove my significance to myself and others, the point is that God has really justified me. I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore because I am already significant for who I am because of God, and for this cause, I am free to achieve and pursue my desires (in line with the will of God) without any anxiety.

Finally, as I mull over and try to wait in patience for my 'life calling'-to pursue an area which I am excellent in and passionate about, I have been especially touched by Psalms 32, which speaks of God's desire to guide us through our lives, to lead us to glorification in both our earthly and eternal lives:

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you" (8-9)

I have always been praying to God for guidance and in making decisions and to answer my prayers, as if He is my 'lucky charm'. God is of course, more than that. The point is, He cannot guide us closely with His eye, towards the excellent way in God's will, without us going to Him and resting in His presence.