The people business

It is strange how I am facing the prospect of working closely with and for people for the next major part of my life.

Think about it: I have kinda been a closet misanthropist. Growing up in a family as I did, having nasty babysitters who added not one ounce to my confidence-building as a kid, and my relatively anti-social pastime of reading have not made me really fond of being with people. I found them selfish, tiresome, hard to please and generally..irritatingly confused. People are hard to predict: show some concern, and you are a nosy parker. Demonstrate 'respect for privacy' (aka indifference) and I am unemotional and cold. My former 'best friend' dropped me when she married a guy who used to like me, despite me trying to talk..(well, around it, not about it..I am still Asian..). I am often like..what are these strange creatures thinking about?

Then the best joke came when I became a teacher. I mean goodness, not only do I dislike people, I dislike kids. Kids are the embodiment of man's vanity. I have often mumbled to Art that kids do what they do and get away with it just cos they are kids. It's colossal injustice. Well, those whom I taught weren't exactly kids; they were college kids but of course, their dispositions, inclinations and tempers are nevertheless still brewing, only thank goodness they are of the polite brand, no matter if they mean it or not. That accounted for my scathing remarks and sarcasm towards them, which ironically somehow endeared me to them.

And then as everyone knows, I wanted to leave teaching cos I was getting bored and frustrated with being bypassed for promotion in place of the men who 'have served in the army'. Whatever. Doesn't account for the multiple and sometimes unjustified automatic promotions given to them. Ok, I initially aimed for humanitarian work and was quite proud of myself for having found my 'personal vision'.  I know I have a lot of explaining to do: what is a people- hater doing humanitarian work for? Well, I like the moral and practical significance of helping faceless people..if you get what I mean: humanity as a whole.  Dealing with personal relationships is hard. Well, but I could not get into a masters programme doing development work. And then I could not get into a development internship, no matter how many stinking resumes and cover letters professing my 'ardent sincerity' I sent.

Instead, steps that have 'happened to me' unwittingly seem to point towards..people. As in up close and personal (but not the social work kind, thank God).  My masters in Intercultural Communication (which is the only masters my bachelor and limited professional experience got me into) is actually well-suited for human resouce and communications work. Then the internship I got was for human resource, which is my last choice after the cool and fancy events management and field research positions that I had been more keen in. I guess my thesis will be on human resource work too, despite the very limited human resource modules (1 actually) I have taken. Friends around me have affirmed that I appear to be good and intuitive with people (them never guessing my inner discomfort..maybe cos I take these interactions too seriously) and with management positions.

But more importantly, I see this as where God is leading me, even though it had never been where I set out to be when I quit teaching and even midway through my studies when I was applying for internships. I have never gotten what I yearned for or expected. Well, I have been praying to God to lead me through or even in spite of my personal decisions and conviction. I prayed that cos I was just praying for something to happen, and cos I was so worried for my future and career. It renders my increasingly favourite verse relevant:

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps-Proverbs 16:9

Of course how things have turned out is funny. It is funny how a self-centred person like me seems to end up being designated for a behind- the- scenes job. Take a look at it: as a teacher, esp a pre-university college one, my job, besides or through teaching, is to train and develop the students-as leaders, thinkers, or even in their academic or personal development. Fast forward a little: isn't the job of a human resource practitioner or specialist to train and develop people as well? To get people/students to work effectively in teams? In that sense, these two types of jobs share a moral and ethical imperative to help people be the best that they can be. Of course I am well aware that for school the ultimate goal are grades and ranking and for HRM, it functions as a company strategy, but the underlying implication is that you want people to turn out good, and to be better than when they first come to you.

Which kinda sucks for me, as I was saying. I mean..hey..I want to be developed here, not to be the one developing. I want to be the one possessing the techinical competencies and to be the one at the forefront of the job; I want people to think about how they can retain me and work with me and develop me. I can't believe how I used to envy the top-scorers during Founder's Day in school who have clinched prestigious scholarships. Instead, God has kept for me, an underdog, a typical underdog work: to manage and please and build people up.

Not that I am totally unhappy. I am just ruminating how funny and unexpected things have turned out.  I can see how this possibly new career path can hold lots of cognitive and professional challenges and prospects for me. I have been googling about prospects and these are a few of what I have found:


"Exceptional human resources workers may be promoted to director of human resources or industrial relations, which can eventually lead to a top managerial or executive position. Others may join a consulting or outsourcing firm or open their own business. A Ph.D. is an asset for teaching, writing, or consulting work".


.......

"Increasingly, for a successful career in Human Resources, you will also need business management, finance, and accounting education. You must be prepared to develop a deep understanding of the business your employer is engaged in to succeed in a career in Human Resources".
 
Well, if God has lead me here, it is the safest and best place to be, despite my quasi-apprehensions.

I know it is rather late to write about this; after all, House MD has been showing already for years wheras I have only just learnt about this show last Dec! Nevertheless, I want to write what I love about this show.

Well but before that casting Hugh Laurie as the main character certainly reinforces the stereotype that everybody loves: that of a good looking charming renegade man who can get away with breaking the rules AND be exceptional with what he does. Sounds very much like GTO actually. And then, just to make this man look better, you have the typical bureaucratic women who act like...yeah, what people expect and dread about women: bureaucratic, moralistic, straitlaced, unimaginative, rule binding, and generally there to keep the man/men in check. Cameron, Masters and Cuddy embody that stereotype, only to be 'redeemed' by being sexy or sex partners in the show. You don't see any of the man being like this. In fact, Chase changed. Well, 13 is different: portrayed as playing by the 'guys' rules' at rule-breaking, but she is then again a bisexual, as if a woman can only be different and atypical if she is gay or bisexual.

Whoa, sounds very much like I don't like the show. But I am resigned to the fact that it seems like most, if not all dynamic shows have male protagonists and only females as the foil. Women still do not have that kind of stimulating charm that captures society's imagination, save for sexy ass-kicking. Something like being serious, intellectual and witty-that I have not yet seen of a woman on TV or movies. Then again, I have not watched much TV...

But hey, the show works. Hugh Laurie is th main reason why I watched the show at all at first: he's gorgeous, sexy and his character is interesting: mysterious screwed up genius with nice stubble. The cane works for him as well. Heck, he can even launch a perfume after this =) I admit I enjoy the stereotypes played out on the show. The medical story lines are kind of a by-product; most of the time, I don't even understand or remember what exactly is going on, save for the human interests issues that underlie these cases, like the recent one I have just watched on Masters making a decision to be a rule-binding upright doctor or a rule-breaking one. I don't understand why the show has to make such a big deal of making these 2 elements seem mutually exclusive. Can you both be effective and capable while abiding by the rules? Well, ok, maybe in real life, this does not work for exceptional or unique cases, only for the general majority ones. Then again, of course nobody wants to watch a TV series showing doctors obeying the rules. People want to consume entertainment exemplifying that which fails to happen in real life.

Ok back to the series: I love the dialogue. They seem really smart, digging into high context conversations, and getting into the real intentions of the characters. They are also direct, focused and not just witty banter typical of comedy sitcoms. I love the characters and the relationships they have: Taub and Foreman, House and Wilson, 13 and Foreman, Cuddy and Lucas and House, Chase and..everybody else, if not his relationshp with Cameron: I like the way their relationships unfold and show how these people change or do not change in the course of their relationships. And I love the teamwork dynamics portrayed in the show: the different propensities and inclinations of the team members; I thought it somehow reflects how teams really do work out in real life: backbiting, supportive, presumptuous, and in the end, just plain comfortable with one another. Well of course I can go into the dissection of each of their characters and relationships but that I would just rather indulge by reading off the net.

Of course I will be sad that the series is ending soon. Arghs!! I am finishing season 7 and I know that season 8 will be the last one, and even then, without Wilson. I wonder what they will do to his character. Make him die of cancer? Move away? hmmm.

I am also sad that the whole House and Cuddy relationship ended. I know many fans hate their relationship, saying how it thwarts his renegade and reckless behavoir that they so love, but hey, I believe in redemption and romance and still staying sexy at the same time!!

If I were to marry, I will have to marry someone who will be a good father.

Well of course this is at the risk of stating the obvious, but the traits of a good father cannot be overlooked. If the family is the wellspring of life; it is where all safety and security is found, and where character, if not abilities, is first formed, if it is the starting point of how a person turns out, and how that person in turn relates to and impacts everyone else around him, whether good or bad, and hence by extension, if getting married and having a family is to leave a legacy, then having a good father is all important.

This is related to God being our Father above, where Psalms says that when we become children of God, we inherit His goodness and kingdom.

"You, O Lord, are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance" Psalms 16: 5-6

Yes, a father leaves his children an inheritance, both of a physical and material sort, and the other of a spiritual and emotional sort. Sadly, some inheritances are baggages.

I am not saying that the man or father has to be perfect, because nobody is. But a good father is one who is godly, humble, capable, and generous in spirit and in wealth. These are traits of a good inheritance, and that which equip the child with the tools to pursue joy, love and contentment in life, in spite of inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

I thought of this because I was chatting with Bunny, Manu's husband about his deceased parents. He was telling me that his parents died when he was 9 or 10 years old. But later on, in his life, he met strangers who want to help him because some time ago, his parents had gone out of their way to help them at their moments of need. He told himself if he could be like them, just a little bit, he would be happy. And I have benefitted a little from his generosity: staying at their place during this month and being at home with good company and good conversations. In a way, I have benefitted from his parents' generosity.

God's Timing

As I was taking an evening stroll by the roads in Vaasa to give my mind a break and take a breath of fresh air, God reminded me of His timing. Ever since my dad called me to rant yesterday-no-ever since there have been crazy problems in the family, I very often had to calm my racing heart. This is probably the only thing that could make my heart race and ache this much. This is made worse by the waiting time for my US internship visa and probably unfounded worries about my thesis topic. At once it seems like so many uncertainties that I can do nothing about have crowded in my mind again.

But since I can do nothing about them, since I have prayed endlessly about them, I guess this is a lesson in waiting. I told God to remind me of the times that I felt lost but His timing has come at the perfect time (well not perfect to me; to me it always could have been earlier)--my accommodation that VOAS has given me on my day of arrival exactly, something unheard of, Pirjo who called the airport for my lost luggage at my first day alone in a new church, friends and strangers alike who helped me in E.Europe when I had no money and no phone after being pickpocketed, probably, in fact, even me studying here in Finland at a course that few other universities would allow me to pursue considering my limited academic and professional background.

So I prayed. I prayed to God to help me, once again, try to trust in His timing, just to trust in Him. To trust in His timing for the visa and internship matters. To trust in His timing that my family will be able to come to the States, whether together or separated, as apprehensive as I am of this impending situation, to trust that in His time my family will be healed, to trust that in His time my father and brother will love and experience His love and light. Even for my friends whom are facing discomfort now, Pirjo's mum, Agatha's mum, even my grandmother back in Malacca, these all who are seriously ill, God will in His time bring peace unto them as He takes them.

I can only wait and trust in Him.